Are you a ventriloquist?

I’m pretty sure most of you know where I’m going with this topic, but just in case you don’t..... A ventriloquist is an entertainer who speaks for his/her puppet, called a dummy, usually without moving his/her lips. Do you speak for your child? 

I have a close circle of friends with whom I went through school. We knew each other’s parents and frequently gathered with our spouses and later our children for holidays and other parties. One friend, a particularly intelligent and verbal woman, had the habit of speaking for her son. If one of us asked John a question, it was certain that Debbie would answer for him. If John started to talk, Debbie talked over him. As John grew, rather than take offense to this, John turned it into a laughing matter. On one occasion, I recall, John was asked a question that specifically required A personal opinion. Before answering, John turned to Debbie and asked, ”How do I feel about that Mom?”  Debbie laughed along with the rest of us.

When my students came to visit the classroom before the beginning of the school year, I was eager to meet each and every one of them. Not wanting to be rude to a parent, I found that the best way to avoid ventriloquism was to crunch down (when I was teaching in the lower grades) or hold fast to the students eyes and to ask a question that was clearly meant for the child to answer. Some children looked up at the parent waiting for the parent to answer. I had to keep my eye fixed on the child and avoid looking at the parent or the conversation was derailed. It was a painful silence sometimes, but it was the start of good communication between me and my students. What my students have to say is important to me.

What a child has to say is important.